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  • Writer's picturePetite Weddings

Can we write our own wedding vows?

Updated: Nov 18, 2022

Yes! By choosing a celebrant-led wedding ceremony you can say whatever you want to each other, wherever you want at a time of your choosing. These are all really special ways to make your wedding ceremony your own. We are delighted to publish some help and ideas from Celebrant Sabine Smith of Perfect Day Ceremonies to help couples wondering how to go about writing their own vows.

5 top tips for writing your own vows

Here are my 5 top tips on how to create vows that are personal to you which allow you to express your feelings for one another. For some couples, it seems quite daunting to consider writing your own vows and reading them out in front of everyone on your wedding day, as if you have not got enough to worry about!! However, some couples love to declare their love and devotion to the most important person in their live on their wedding day in front of everyone. Getting married in the registry office or in church does not give you the freedom to choose your own vows. However, if you are considering a celebrant led ceremony you forego the traditional vows and you can create your own. Creating your personal vows can bring a unique and intimate dynamic to your wedding ceremony and I am happy to share my 5 tips with you on how to create meaningful and joyous vows for your life celebrations. 1. Reflect on Your Relationship First of all, the vows you are writing should reflect your relationship with each other. You both know best what sort of style suits you the most. Some couples create humorous vows such as- 'I will still love you even if you do leave the toilet seat up' or 'I will still love you even if you take longer in the bathroom than I do'.

You might want to underline the seriousness of the commitment you are taking on and express this in your vows for everyone to hear. You might wish to declare your love and devotion for the other person in your vows by using a passage from a song you both love or a book/poem you both enjoy. Make sure you hit the tone that feels right for your relationship and try to be authentic. 2. Nail the Intro Sometimes this is easier said than done. However, your celebrant might be able to help you to lead up to the promises or vows to get you out the starting blocks. Your first line can be a short introduction to why you have chosen to write your own vows and how much it means to you, so much so that you have researched and written your personal promises. Traditional vows have their place but your wedding promises might not be built on the traditional vows as used in the registry office or in the church. It is all about the two of you and your love to one another. Declare it!!!

3. Own it So much preparation has gone into the wedding day... You have found the venue; the wedding planner and the photographer is booked. You have the outfits and the cake has been ordered. You have made your playlist and you have managed to reduce the guest list to a Covid friendly number and now your best man or maid of honour asked if you are writing your own vows. OMG Do not panic - you can do this! You know how much the other person means to you and why you are planning to get married to him or her. You can share an anecdote but keep it short. What did you feel when you first met them and how do they make you feel now? What do you love most about them? What have you learned from them and what makes you laugh? How do you see your future and what do you promise to do or be in the life together?

4. Relax and Breathe Creating and reading out your vows can be a very daunting thing to do but I am sure your celebrant will help you to relax and ease you into it. Do not forget to breathe! The celebrant might even suggest to read the vows for you but they will make sure that everyone will know that the vows have been written by yours truly. I remember that I fluffed up my vows during my wedding and it always makes me laugh when I think of it. Everyone will be forgiving and they will only remember the declaration of promises you have made to one another. You do not have to be AA Milne or Shakespeare, you simply let everyone know how much you love each other. 5. Be True to Yourself It may take a little time to put words to paper but I am sure it will be worth it. Your vows for each other are the wishes, hopes and promises for your lives and future together. Being yourself and being authentic when writing the personal vows will help you to create meaningful vows and promises. The best vows are written when you consider the delivery and the order of the lines and as long as you speak from the heart; the vows you share will last a lifetime. Once the ceremony is over and you have time to reflect you can keep the vows as a keepsake printed out for you to place in a frame or to place them in a time capsule, with other items from your special day: like some confetti, champagne corks, label of the wine that was served, the order of service, your love story, unity candles and so on. As your celebrant I will support you during the process of writing your personal vows. If you want to write your own vows but aren't sure where to start, do not hesitate to contact me, I am happy to help, Sabine X

You can find out more about Sabine and her wonderful service here.

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